Friday, May 01, 2009

What Happened To Us?

It is no wonder that there is so little love in the world today and we are where we are. Within all the levels of divisions which one experiences in a lifetime, what tends to have been lost is the trust in others, the belief in ourselves and with that the love that people and humanity so desperately need.

Love is the most powerful and possibly the most natural of all human emotions. We like to believe that we believe in love, yet we live in fear of it. We fear that giving means someone else is taking, that we or they won't live up to expectations, that we will be left. Trust in the 'system', 'friends' and 'society' seems to come easier than in ourselves or the ones which we supposedly 'love' so we put up our defenses and shoot down anyone or anything that gets close to seeing through them and essentially into us.

Singly and with the 'support' of those which we 'allow' some influence in our lives, we resist 'change'. Saying things like "I have to be true to myself" or hearing things like "don't change for anyone"; what we really resist is our own evolution, our own ability to 'come together'. The 'change' and the 'sharing' which naturally occurs in a 'relationship' can grow and makes us uneasy, for we are taught to trust no one as they may be 'bad' and take something from us. So we run in search of what love 'should be' without ever giving a chance for love 'to be'.

We seem to search for something or someone that will 'give' as much or more than we are able to without really looking at ourselves and our own limits on 'giving' and 'receiving'; for even when we 'get' we still feel ashamed for not 'giving' as much and when we give we feel anger when we don't seem to receive to our satisfaction. We don't want to feel 'ripped off' so we become afraid to talk in fear of opening ourselves up to disappointment and laying ourselves bare and vulnerable and love never really gets the chance to flourish and grow; never gets the chance to change us into the more humanistic people which this world needs in order to change itself. Apart, we can all be afraid, together we can all gather strength to move forward and overcome challenges of life, human interaction and the world.

We 'fake' our way through life and human relationships, picking out and 'evaluating' our circumstances and concentrating on the 'uncomfortable' moments in our lives until we can bear them no longer; we then simply discard and move on, relishing the 'new' and yet to be 'broken'. Be it lovers, friends, work, homes, family or society we run away from it all but what we can not run away from is ourselves. We practice 'corporate' breakups using the same cold methods of analysis (have I gotten as much or more than I have given?) without talking and forever heaving blame (to others and ourselves), we rationalize leaving and move on to the next model in hopes that this will be the 'one' until even the new wears on our nerves and seems 'broken' to us. Never really feeling but rather being enamored with the concept of couple-hood and love.

I spent my entire life with the 'negative' aspects of love, never really giving in fear of 'the end' or of my own 'worthiness'. I tried to be a 'rock' because men don't cry but we don't have to become hard and strong for each other, for as a 'strong' self' we can never be as powerful as a loving community and if we continue to search for a 'perfect' state of being, we will always be disappointed.

There is no longer unconditional love, for nothing lasts forever in our 'upgrade' lives. We deem things as too much work, that there has to be something or someone easier, so we 'move on'; never really allowing ourselves to be the 'good' people that we so need to be. We search for perfection without ever believing in utopia and accepting what society has to offer. I don't want a 'perfect' love or a perfect world because I will never feel worthy from the start. Love is something that is work, something that grows and does change people, once we realize that and accept it, then maybe we can be humble enough to truly experience what love and life has to offer; then we may be able to move into a more human existence.

I ask of everyone to ask themselves - What happened to 'us'?

No comments: