Monday, May 11, 2009

In The Age Of Separation

"Be independent and strong"

"Don't rely on anyone else"

"Don't get pushed around"

"Money makes the world go round"

"There are winners and there are losers"

"Men are from Mars, women are from Venus"

Funny how we have become a society that desperately searches for a 'connection' to other people but we don't seem to be able to talk and open to anyone and we even pay 'professionals' to talk with instead of the ones we supposedly 'love'. We talk to 'friends' that echo back our fears and supply some of their own but at least they are 'on our side'. We forget that a person's good deeds far outweigh their wrongs and instead focus ourselves on the 'bad' in order to justify to ourselves the inability to love that we ourselves possess. If nothing else, society teaches us that there is 'bad' in everyone and that it could come in any form; so we stay on guard and are always ready to blame.

No wonder people don't know what love is - love is a car, diamonds, house, vacation, job, music, food, family, blind, simple, easy, complicated, pain, perfect, a battlefield, the answer, the best, solves everything, ruins everything, timeless, limited, a gamble, a sure thing, forever, lost, amazing, strange, forgiving, understanding, uncertain, angry, happy, sad, everywhere, unlimited, has boundaries, insane, kind, patient, unpredictable, cruel, crazy, an idea, a feeling, your heart, nature, humanity, worth it ...

So what is it? Is it definable? Is it from the heart or the mind or both? What is it? Is it supposed to be the 'answer' and solve all of our problems? We tend to rely on it to 'save' us, but from what? Why do we chase it, is it because we grew up hearing about it everywhere? Why do we let it destroy us, is it because we never really feel worthy of it? Why do we allow the pain that it can cause to lash out at the ones that we love? We stay 'strong' and harden ourselves in order to be able to do it all over again with someone new and improved and are always comparing to what our ideals tell us is 'right'.

We tell ourselves that we love our children so we protect them from experiencing any kind of 'adverse' emotion or pain but what we really do is keep them from learning to deal with pain and challenges in life. We pack them in day-cares which leashes them together and walks them like dogs; all in the name of exercise. We love our children so much that we appreciate the fears that keep them 'out of trouble' or 'safe'. We worry when we can't keep an eye on them, when they sleep, when they go out, when they cry, when they are angry, when they are afraid, when they fall, when they're not hungry, when they eat too much ... We must be worried that they will be able to take care of themselves and therefore no longer require us.

We seem to try so hard to 'connect', to ourselves, to others, to our families, yet we practice the art of separation. How many times have you held a grudge or forgiven? How many times have you left or talked things through? How many times have you judged or accepted someone? How many times have you focused on pain rather than the joy? How many times have you seen the fear and not the adventure in life?

When we practice to separate, we give into everything that is considered 'normal' in today's society. We feed the economy through dinners, movies, dancing, gifts, flowers ... but what we really do is confuse, even further, the love that is needed to come together and change this world for a better future for the upcoming generations. We teach our children that love is temporary, that flaws are unacceptable and that there is always something better out there so they will forever keep searching, forever be 'independent' and forever be disappointed. What happens to a generation of people that are so well protected that they do not know how to deal with the inevitable pains that they will experience in their lifetime?

Let yourselves and your children fall, eat some mud, get bacteria, develop an immune system. Every experience in life is a learning experience; the good, the bad and the ugly. Let yourselves work for the love that can save the world for if it felt real, it is probably worth fighting for. Humanity can save itself but it starts with each and every one of us; we must learn to be forgiving, we must learn to see through flaws and most importantly, we must learn to see through ourselves and our fears. We must be one if there is to be a 'future'.

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