Why is it that we are so hard on ourselves? We seem to internalize everything that goes wrong; in our lives, in our friends, in our lovers, in the world - we seem to punish ourselves for everything that causes pain, discomfort and separation. When that is not enough or we can no longer punish ourselves, we lash out at the ones we love and try to intentionally hurt others in order to make ourselves feel better.
What have we learned in our lives? Where did all the hatred come from? Why is it so easy to hate yet so difficult to love?
I hate a certain style of clothes, hairstyle, food, car, music, people on T.V., the list goes on and on. Now what do we love? Hate is such a powerful emotion yet it seems to be wasted on everything, seems to be thrown about with no remorse. I tried to hate and I hated for a long time. Mainly myself but also others and everything to do with society. I don't want to hate anymore.
Is this the only emotion that comes easily these days? Are we that dissatisfied with everything or so easily hurt that hate is the only emotion that seems to surface? We hate it when someone contradicts us, we hate it when they seem to know more than us, we hate it when they don't seem to listen to us, what is the problem here? Have our lives become so about 'me' that we can just hate everything that seems to challenge 'me'? Are we so insecure, that everything that contradicts us is considered a personal attack? Are we so afraid to be caught out as the people that can no longer love without conditions that we instead go on the attack ourselves, all in the name of self preservation and saving face?
What are we doing to each other? Can we not see the love that is possible, if only we let our guards down? Do we no longer believe that love can truly exist? Have we been so conditioned to competition that everyone we meet is essentially capable of stealing part of the life energy that we think we need to survive? Do we really so NEED to be recognized that we would rather fight than learn, we would rather hate than admit we are wrong or that we did not realize something on our own? It seems to be far easier to hate Muslims than it does to view scientific evidence which may implicate something or someone closer to home to the events of 9/11.
We hate that girl on Survivor, we hate that guy on The Amazing Race, we hate that person that wins the lottery, we hate that other sports team, we hate that person that got the promotion over us, we hate the person who knows more than us; is this the only 'natural' emotion that we have left? We change the channel, we delete the exes, we burn memories, we hate a race of people, but why? Do we really think that this is the way to make 'us' feel better? Do we really believe that an experience in life, whether bad or good, should be forgotten rather than learned from? Do we really believe that love can just be extinguished forever, simply by hating?
One year after separation or divorce, 50% of children of divorced or separated families never see their fathers again, why is this? Is this because the children end up with the mothers and hear how bad men are? Is this because the fathers no longer love them? Is this because the children no longer love their fathers? Is this fueled by shame, guilt and a myriad of other negative emotions? We are at a time when divorce is a %50 probability, what does this do? Does this not instill fear of trust, communication, honesty and love itself? Why does this happen? Could it be that in our separation from community to the self that we close down and never really open up, for anyone could be a danger or an attacker? How do we learn this?
If we cannot treat ourselves and the people that we meet in life better, how can the following generations ever have a hope of making a better world? How can they ever truly love and come together to restore a natural balance when it is so easy to hate and compete? How can humanity ever come together to assure that life is a right for all Earthly inhabitants and not just something that sometimes gets in the way of profit and the advancement of 'me'?