As I look around and see what we have become, I am frightened by the majority of people that I see. Those that have nothing to give; looking out for number one because 'who else should I look out for?'. Self preservation seems to be the order of the day; the future can wait for I don't want to miss a thing nor feel any discomfort.
Carl Jung adamantly declared that “Mental illness is the avoidance of suffering.” - Collectively, we are afraid of discomfort and avoid its potential for our growth and development. So how do we move forward? If we view everything as 'good' or 'evil', how can we learn from the 'negatives' in life and move towards a more 'positive' future? How do we accept that the 'negatives' are just as important as the 'positives' and that unity of the whole is only achieved through the overcoming of separation.
Contrary to what I have been accused of, I write because I care, because I want a better world for our children's children and because I believe that love in the world can overcome the selfish tendencies which we have developed throughout our lives; the separation which keeps us in check and afraid. I see the problems in the world, not because I am negative, but because I can see past that and reach for something better; I can imagine a better world and a better society. If one reads my writings, they can tell that I still believe in humanity, for without that there is solely pure despair and resentment.
I have not told any lies, I have not manipulated any minds and I have not done anything out of pure selfishness. Sure I may not be as selfless as I would like to think but I do know that without seeing the problems, there can never be any solutions. I do know that without the ability to see clearly, we will forever remain in a cloud of doubt and fear. All I want in life is to do good and to give and receive love; for myself and for the world. I have been equated to my observations and writings; angry, negative and a danger to those that just want to be normal. I have been portrayed as a monster because I see the injustices and the manipulations in the world around me. I have been tossed aside because I am perceived as a danger to life as we know it and its comfort zone.
Some people will never really believe in love, for their selves will always be more important than the discovery of togetherness and community, than giving yourself in such a way that you can see a new and improved you forming before your eyes; for if there is a new me, what happened to the old self I know and am comfortable with? Love is the removal of barriers which keep us separated from other beings; when we hold onto those barriers or boundaries, we can never really accept love and we can never really give ourselves as completely as it may deserve; we can never really give it or ourselves a chance.
So what do I do? Where do I go? How do I again believe that good will always prevail or that love will find a way? I am at a crossroad in my life; where I can choose the path of simplicity and acceptance; the one well travelled and universally accepted as the norm. The one that offers least resistance and fewer judgements; the 'complaint free world'. Or do I continue to see and fight for something better. Do I continue to put others before myself and truly try to find that path which won't offend others into fearing me, into running away from me and into finding me offensive to the point of simply tossing me aside for I am judged as too much work and simply not worth it.
I have never felt so alone in life but at the same time, I have never felt so connected.