The Worst Mistake

It is with a heavy heart that I write these words because I realize, and know that I must state and accept honestly, that we are indeed at the end of days and that there will never be a 'normal' as the time before.

Was it naive of me to believe that something I could bring, discover, say, realize, share and scream from the rooftops could ever change the trajectory or inevitable outcome of the downward slide of humanity at its very core and to where we presently exist? Was I arrogant enough to think that I could bring about a halt to what has been transpiring for hundreds, perhaps thousands of years?

Should I be experiencing a desire to regress into the lying hypocrite which I once was which lived for only one thing: my present comfort and delusion of joy? Do I want to become the 'Cypher' of the day in hopes of again tasting something which was never real?

It is more and more difficult these day to reflect back upon my life and try to define the 'happy' moments within it. I know that they exist among the many instances of fleeting joy, but they are blurred these days by the torments of knowing what is transpiring without any recourse to effectively communicate a cohesive way to stop any of it; ending in madness. 

"All you have to do is STOP!" I scream, to no avail.

If one were to read through my words over the years, one might see that I could glimpse what the human condition would need to become in order to effectuate something of this magnitude. That I could seemingly, 'identify' the ways that our very souls, or at least our morality, was dragged down to levels which could only be considered collective madness; for the most part was done but us. And here we sit, surrounded by the madness, which encompasses our loved ones and drags us all into the abyss; who do we 'FIGHT'?

I have been screaming: "All you need to do is become better people."

Unfortunately people seem to no longer have the capacity to actually listen these days and instead many different variants of that statement can be created through emotional reactions at the individual level; the joy of being offensive for all. They usually tend to do everything possible to brush it to the side, rather than delve deep into their self and ask those questions which would never have allowed us to be where we are now.

I have tried to be the 'mirror' for all to see what it is that we have allowed ourselves to become. I could never have imagined that honesty could be so contentious, nor that it would come to border 'illegality'.

I have tried to define the programmed ego and leave bread crumbs everywhere in my mind drops, in order to spark something, anything (even indignation), to nudge things into a different direction; for disruption of the programmed self is of utmost importance at this time.

I aimed to inform that the lack of honest communication is one of the things which hinders all progression in humanity the most. And that one can never achieve honest communication with others without first being brutally honest with one's self.

I have explained, over and over, that it is not about being better than your fellow man, but rather, about being better than your former self (thanks Hemmingway - always). 

All I have written comes from my own personal experiences, observations, anguish, mistakes, reflections and honesty of self. And in no way do I find myself 'above' or 'better' than anyone else but I am a heck of a lot better human than I was previously.

That is where the power lies.

We will lose this invisible war because most are not willing to give their lives (nor their former selves) for freedom, hell, most won't even stand up to stand out. The irony of it is that they may very well be the first mass casualty of this clandestine war. 

So think about that for a moment, let it seep in. Here we are during an invisible war, where the enemy may have already, throughout our entire lives (and generations prior), been slowly exterminating us through their control of food, water and air (and much more). 

And what are we doing but battling, vilifying, segregating, denigrating, mocking, debunking, classifying, dehumanizing, distrusting... (for the list is long), amongst ourselves and becoming the very xenophobes, which are necessary to ensure a unity is never achieved? Where are we headed but in the direction of 'every man for himself' as the unified agendas just roll on by (or is it over) and I wonder to whom the 'demonstration' of the MOAB was really meant?

Do you realize that if a major M Class Solar Flare were to hit our weakening geomagnetic field at the right moment, that the Earth could be plunged into darkness. Also realize that the majority, would firmly believe that it was the outcome of nefarious actions from bad actors and their hackers. Oh the tales which we weave and believe. Look out, Zombies!

Not many want to admit where that enemy truly resides; forever avoiding that honest look in the mirror for what stares back may just shock them awake. The solace of apathetic ignorance combined with an arrogant entitlement with triggers of indignant micro-aggressions fueling the childlike emotional reactions which is their 'comfort zone' of choice. 

It's like living "Idiocracy 2: The Invisible Enemy".

So what was my worst mistake? Was it in giving everything of myself to everything else and forsaking myself? Was it in giving myself completely to something outside of myself in order to prove (to whom?) that I have no agenda? Was it in my belief that the 'good' would always rise, for the basis of our very being resides within our morality? Was it in my simply not being selfish enough? Perhaps I really am my own worst enemy.

Perhaps I am just an idealistic dreamer, perhaps it is foolish of me to still believe that there is enough 'good' in our humanity to forever vanquish this 'evil' which has taken the reigns of our moral compass. 

The ultimate choice, is how do we want to live: In Fear or Love?

What seems to be 'growing' the most within you? As I also look within me.

So out with the old and create the new - the mourning of our past selves is over.